Daniel's Many Misfortunes
by Cucco of Time
Summary: Poor, poor Daniel... This is a oneshot humor fic. Negligible slapstick violence. Features Siler!


**Author's Note: This was originally written for a fanfiction contest, which required this paragraph: **

**_He was alone. More alone than he'd been in a long time. He desperately wished to hear a familiar voice, see someone or something he recognized, just for a minute. He got_ _nothing. He'd forgotten how he had gotten there. On second thought, he'd forgotten where 'there' was. All he could think about at that moment was how very alone he felt._**

**I thought it would be appropriate for you, the reader, to know that, since it was written with that assumption.**

**Daniel's Many Misfortunes**

One fine day, Daniel Jackson was eating lunch in the cafeteria of the SGC. Of course, he couldn't tell it was a fine day. When he had begun to descend into the depths of Cheyenne Mt. it was dreary and cloudy—but that's beside the point.

Anyway, he finished his lunch, and exited the cafeteria. On his way out, he passed Teal'c. Suddenly, Teal'c had a serious expression on his face—no, wait—he always does…Suddenly Teal'c had a _more_ serious expression on his face.

"I require...corn dogs..." Teal'c muttered to himself.

Daniel proceeded down the hall, and as he passed near the closet, which was being rummaged through by Sgt. Siler, Teal'c walked by eating the whole cafeteria supply of corn dogs. Daniel stopped for a moment, watching Teal'c walk away. How could anyone eat that many corn dogs? Daniel would start feeling sick if he ate more than two.

Daniel began walking again, and then...it happened. His foot stepped on something semi-squishy. He slipped. He stumbled. He stumbled right into the closet, and fell into the junk within the closet...The pain. Siler, oblivious to the Archeologist who just fell into the closet, found what he had been looking for (his giant wrench) and slammed the door shut, locking it behind him. As Siler walked away, Daniel heard a loud metallic clang...a moan...and then the familiar sound of Siler limping off to the infirmary.

As Siler's agonized moans faded, he realized...He was alone. More alone than he'd been in a long time. He desperately wished to hear a familiar voice, see someone or something he recognized, just for a minute. He got nothing.

As he sat there wondering how it could get any worse, the corn dog he had slipped on landed on his head, and knocked him unconscious...

Daniel awoke with a vaguely-familiar face, beaming down at him.

"What are you doing in the closet, Dr. Jackson?" inquired Jonas.

"Um...I'd rather not talk about it." said Daniel, still recovering from the traumatic experience.

"Oh...I understand." said Jonas knowingly. "These things can often be very emotional experiences."

"No...You...don't understand." Daniel said, wondering what embarrassing things Jonas could be assuming.

"I do." Jonas said, with a mysterious grin.

"You don't."

"I do."

"You don't."

"I do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Fine, then! What _did_ happen?" demanded Daniel.

"Well," began Jonas "You were walking down the hallway, when you slipped on a corn dog Teal'c had dropped, fell into the closet, got locked in by Sgt. Siler, and got knocked unconscious by the very corn dog you had slipped on."

"...So that's what knocked me unconscious..." Daniel muttered. "...What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Oh, that!" laughed Jonas. "I came here to get more bananas of course!"

With that Jonas walked off, finishing a banana that he had rapidly consumed at the mere mention of bananas. Daniel, disoriented and disturbed, began to proceed down the hall…Then...it happened. His foot stepped on something semi-slimy. He slipped. He fell. He landed on the ground with a thud, rendering him unconscious. The banana peel he had slipped on landed on his face.

Daniel awoke with something wet covering his eyes. He wanted to remove it to see where he was, but he was just too exhausted. He'd forgotten how he had gotten there. On second thought, he'd forgotten where 'there' was. All he could think about at that moment was how very alone he felt...


End file.
